If you’re looking for the best Tinder tips for guys, you’re in the right place. Most guys struggle on Tinder not because they’re unattractive, but because they’re making a few key mistakes that kill their results.

The truth is, success on Tinder isn’t random. Once you understand how it works and what actually gets girls to respond, you can dramatically increase your matches, replies, and dates.

In this guide, I’ll break down the 5 most important Tinder tips you need to stand out, text better, and get real results.

(If you want a deeper breakdown of how Tinder works, check out our Ultimate Tinder Guide For Men)

Tinder Tips For Success

1. Keep Your Opening Message Short

Most guys on Tinder go overly fancy and think they have to jump through hoops to impress the girl. So, they go overboard, trying too hard to impress a girl right from the start. They waste too much time crafting elaborate pickup lines, thinking it’s the key to success.

But no matter how good-looking you are, if you come in with some over-the-top opener, you’re more likely to turn her off. Putting that much effort into the first message signals to her that you probably don’t get many matches with girls like her.

BAD:

This is clearly a generic pickup line, and the girl probably won’t reply-or might even unmatch. It’s obvious you copied and pasted it and sent it to a bunch of other girls. More importantly, it makes you look like you’re trying way too hard, which kills your attractiveness in her eyes. She’s likely thinking, “If this guy’s such a catch, why is he putting in so much effort to impress me?”

GOOD:

Look at the difference here. It’s a straightforward compliment that doesn’t shower her with too much validation or demand much in return. This way, she’ll feel more inclined to keep the conversation going. It sets the tone for a solid interaction.

Essentially, you want to have the attitude that just because she matched with you, it doesn’t mean she’s already won you over. (I’ll explain more on this below.)

2. Be the Buyer, Not the Seller

As discussed in the previous point, you don’t want to make it seem like the girl has won you over from just matching with you and being attractive.

Women generally enjoy a bit of a challenge. Plus, if you approach things with a “buyer” mentality, it shows you have your own standards and that you’re used to having options, which naturally boosts your attractiveness.

One of the best ways to come across as the one in control is by asking qualifying questions that make it clear you’re evaluating her beyond just her appearance.

Examples of qualifying questions: “Are you open-minded?”, “Are you adventurous?”, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”, “Favorite place you’ve traveled?”, or even, “Are you kinky?”

BAD:

He tried to hype himself up by going into detail about his job, even sending a screenshot of his work without her asking for it. It’s clear he was trying to impress her. When you take this approach, it puts her in control, making you the one trying to “sell” yourself.

This kind of bragging tends to turn women off because it comes across as desperate. There’s a way to brag subtly, but it should be more like you’re casually answering her questions, not giving a sales pitc

GOOD:

Look at the difference between these two examples. Instead of going on about himself, he’s flipping the script and focusing on her. If there’s one key takeaway from this, it’s to ask engaging and interesting questions-most guys skip this entirely.

He’s also throwing in qualifying questions, like asking about her “annoying habits,” which shows her that he’s not just impressed by her looks. It subtly communicates that he has standards, and that her looks alone isn’t enough to win him over (very attractive sign).

3. Text Like A Man

When it comes to online dating, a lot of men get lazy or sloppy and send texts that barely make sense. This is something that’s not talked about enough. Women get turned off by poor grammar or a bunch of childish abbreviations. Misspelling a word here and there is not a big deal, but when you’re typing like a 16-year-old emo teenager, that’s a different story.

In addition, avoid the excessive use of emojis. In general, emojis have one purpose, and that is to show that what you said was a joke, because she can’t see your facial expressions. However, guys start adding emojis to everything because they’re so worried about offending the girl. In reality, all they’re doing is just killing the tension.

BAD:

Let’s ignore the guy’s insane opener (which is most likely a lie, also) for a second. His grammar is so laughable that the girl starts making fun of him. That’s not a good sign.

GOOD:

There’s a big difference between these two examples. Aside from not lying about his penis, this guy is also cognizant of grammar and avoids the overuse of abbreviations.

Adding punctuation, knowing the spelling of all the words, and capitalizing the right word for a sentence shows that you care about how you come across. Intellect can go a long way for a woman to be willing to go on a date with you. Again, this actually makes a massive difference since the majority of men on Tinder half-ass their messages.

4. Text With A Purpose

You don’t want to be aimlessly texting the girl without a purpose. Guys are typically so afraid of getting rejected that they take way too long to move things forward.

Don’t let that be you. Your goal is to meet up with the girl in real life. Everything that you message the girl should move you closer to that goal. There’s nuance here ofcourse, a lot of the time, in order to get the date, you have to banter with the girl or get her to invest in the convo first. This is more of a big picture rule. Know the purpose for every text that you send.

BAD:

At first glance, it may not look that bad. But if you give it another read, you’ll see he basically is veering around aimlessly, without much of a purpose. He suggests meeting up, but he doesn’t do so very effectively. The conversation is just kind of all over the place.

A lot of these questions are actually better asked in person. When you have these conversations over text, the woman doesn’t have much else to find out. The sense of mystery is lost, so they sweetly reject you. Especially when your answers make you seem like a platonic nice guy.

GOOD:

This is much better; the guy, while vibing and bantering with the girl, also has a clear plan (to get her on the date).

He sticks to a simple opening message (see #1). He creates a flirty vibe, followed up by laying out a plan for the date. Once she agrees to the date, he goes for the number. As you read through his interaction, notice that each message is focused on getting to the next step in the interaction – never once does he stray away from his purpose.

5. Sexualize the Conversation (But Do It the Right Way)

Being sexual in a smooth, calibrated way sets the right frame. The woman knows what she can expect if she were to go on a date with you. There is however, a fine line between being creepy/pushy and being sexually savvy. You come across thirsty if you don’t sext a girl the proper way.

BAD:

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She was trolling him all along. When she said something like “Lol, enlighten me boy,” that was his cue to NOT sexualize and actually change the topic. She was laying out a thirst trap for him.

He should have instead called her out by simply saying “Boy?” This would have made her reiterate that weird dynamic she’s trying to establish. When he responded with, “They get punishment,” he fell right into her trap.

He took it even further with “Bitches can’t speak during punishment.” Without any context, he comes across as at best socially autistic & creepy, and at worst, borderline serial killer-ish.

Basically, he went from 0-100 in sexualizing the conversation, and then he took it even further, and she naturally ghosted him.

GOOD:

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The sexualization here is much more calibrated. In addition, he tests her compliance along the way (unlike the previous guy). An example of this is when he said “But first, I need to ask if you’re open-minded.” It is important to sexualize in a very smooth and progressive manner. This way, if you get pushback, you can stop before you creep her out.

Being able to sexualize correctly like this will make you stand out from the 99% of men whose idea of being sexual is asking for nudes or saying, “I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you.”

Summary: The 5 Tinder tips for guys

1. Keep your opening message short
2. Be the buyer not the seller – don’t chase
3. Text like a man – don’t be feminine with your text messages
4. Text with a purpose – don’t beat around the bush. Keep your purpose in mind with every text
5. Sexualize the conversation (in a socially calibrated way)

Conclusion

Remember, having a good bio and pics is a start, but it will only get you the match. Once you’ve got that match, you have to be effective at texting to keep her interested. These are some of the most important rules I follow when I message women on Tinder.

By really understanding these rules and the mindsets behind them, you’ll increase your confidence when texting and replying to girls. With practice, you’ll see your online dating results jump up big time. For more valuable texting tips, check out my how to text a girl guide

Lastly, if you want to expedite the learning curve or just have perfect texts created for you, then get FireTexts, our highly effective AI texting helper. This means you never have to worry about sending the wrong text again

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