How To Ask A Girl Out Over Text
5 Steps to Asking A Girl Out Over Text
In this guide, we’re going to show you the five steps to asking a girl out over text. If you follow these, your likelihood of getting the date will be incredibly high.
To demonstrate each of these steps in action, we’re gonna break down one of my real life text conversations. The context is, I was walking home one day, saw a cute girl. Talked to her for 5-10 min and gave her a quick kiss at the end after getting her number
The backstory here is that I was walking home from the bar and saw a girl walking around with two cellphones in her hand. I made a joke about that and we flirted for a few minutes. I tried to pull her straight to my place but she declined so we briefly made out and I got her number.
Whenever texting a girl I meet offline I will typically reference something that she told me or an inside joke of some kind. This makes the conversation a lot more intimate. Since she was coming back from a job interview I just asked her if she got the gig. As you can see she is definitely invested so I ratchet up the convo by referencing the kiss. This leads us to:
Step 1: which is build investment. I also loosely hint at us meeting up by saying “we should celebrate”. She responds positively so I can move on to the next step
Step 2: soft close. This is basically getting the girl to agree to the general premise of the date. One way of doing this that I like is by asking the girl if she drinks wine and then after she says yes saying “we should split a bottle”. She once again responds positively to the soft close
Step 3: Figuring out the girls schedule. A lot of guys make the mistake of just assuming the girl is going to be free when they are. However, most of the time she won’t be and even if she’s interested she’s going to have to decline. And then you enter negative compliance.
I was trying to get a date that night so wanted to try to get her over, hence “you feeling spontaneous tonight?” This is not the best way to figure out a girl’s schedule but since she was already invested I knew it wouldn’t matter. A better way of doing this is literally saying “what’s your schedule like”.
She tries to get me to come visit her at work. Agreeing to this would have been a massive nooby mistake. The last thing you wanna do is be sitting around waiting for a girl to finish work (very low value).
Instead I keep pushing to get her over and it works, which leads us to…
Step 4: The Hard Close. This is when you lock down an exact date and time which I proceed to do next. It is important to make the date definitive cause otherwise there’s a higher chance of her flaking.
Step 5: Confirming The Date. This is the last step, but it is crucial you don’t skip it. The fact of the matter is if you don’t confirm the date the majority of girls will think you are flaking and will just make other plans.
The ideal way to confirm the date is by first reengaging the girl with something unrelated and just getting her to respond. I do that by saying “Hola Linda”, then after she responds I confirm the date. She confirms and we’re good.
From here it’s gonna be pretty much just logistics. No real game required. In some cases the girl requires uber, some guys think that’s simping but if the girl is coming all the way over to your place, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting her an uber.
Pro Tip: When the girl says she’s outside your place, just say “cuming”. It’s a fun play on words that will set the sexual frame from the beginning. After the girl came over it was super easy. 10 minutes of banter and we’re having sex
Now, you’ve learned about the 5 steps to setting up a date and have seen them play out in real life. For more info on other crucial elements of text game, check out my how to text a girl guide.
And if you want to take all the guesswork out of texting, so you never send a wrong message again, then get FireTexts now.
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